Whenever I watch Boromir's dying scene in the movie 'Lord of the Rings', I cry. I can't help myself. Something about how he confesses his flaws to Aragorn resonates with something in me. The same thing happened when I opened a book in the bookstore a couple of weeks ago. When tears are that close to the surface, it tells me that I might be ready to process an old injury or issue. If I allow the process - if I say "Yes" to the tears or sadness - it can open me to a new level of joy.

But it can be hard. I naturally shy away from sadness or pain. I think we all do. Yet pain is asking to be heard so it can be processed. That means rather than my first response of pushing it away, or delaying it, or denying the intensity of it, if I can stop for even just a moment and allow it to feel awful, life gets better. A strange paradox. When I make room for pain or sadness or difficulty, my options open up. What I have discovered is that within that sadness or pain lies the potential to release it.

"Close your eyes and welcome the heaviness. It will lighten...
So walk with your heaviness, saying 'yes.'
Yes to the sadness."
-- Pat Rodegast (representing Emmanuel)

Saying "Yes" to sadness or pain, is about making room for it. It is paying kind attention to whatever we feel. It is not about glossing over the pain with an affirmation, it is seeing pain as a natural part of life. In this we do not manipulate the experience to find a resolution for pain, but allow that there may be no resolution. We aren't dwelling on a pain but being willing to watch how its tendency is to arise and then pass.

"This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.
A joy, a depression, a meanness,
Some momentary awareness comes as an unexpected visitor.
Welcome and entertain them all !"
-- Rumi

If it's too intense, then maybe it's not the right moment to process the feeling, but when it bubbles up as it does for me when I watch Borimir die, or when it demands attention by becoming a physical illness like an ulcer, then it might be worth a few moments to move into it and ask it what it is trying to say.

Our habit is often just to say "Yes" to the brighter and happier of life's experiences. By ignoring the tougher ones, we miss something wonderful. Underneath any of these passing conditions, emotions, feelings or thoughts is the joy that experiences them. Happiness and sadness rise and pass away, but below them is a deep core of joy.

Yes.

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All content Copyright © Janet Dane unless otherwise stated.